Thanks to "Anaupairsuitcase" for their interview. The interview is on their website, here's the link.
For people who don't speak spanish (like me) here's the interview in English!
Name: Menu Romain
- Age: 26 (23 when I left for being an au pair)
- Countries where you were au pair in:
I was an au pair in Boston, USA.
1.- When did you come up with the idea of working as an Au Pair?
I have always wanted to see how the USA look like. And my biggest work experience was with kids so it was the logical job to do.
2.- Did you read blogs or search on the Internet before that? Why did you open your own blog?
I've read many au pair blogs but I wasnt really satisfied with them. Of course it was nice to have some photos from different au pairs but the problem was that it was always the same: photos of parties, of friends, of the beach, the tall buildings in the city... What happened to the kids? Where are the photos of your job?
On most of the au pair blogs I saw I couldnt find information of the most important part of the year: the job.
This is why I started to make videos about the job. Especially the one where I show what my typical day looks like.
3.- Did you know some male au pair before you? Do you know some male au pair now?
I was in touch with a french guy who left as an au pair. I had millions of questions to ask him and it was helpful to talk to him. I needed to know that as a boy, it is something I could do.
4.- I guess there are more families searching Au Pair girls. Do you think that the fact you’re a man was a problem for some parents?
For some parents it is better! It can be a problem for others but being a boy and an au pair is possible.
Some families want boys because they ask for driving the car a lot or want you to play sport with their kids.. Some families have only boys at the house and think that it can be cool for the kids to have a bigger brother to have fun with. It also works a lot with stereotypes because girls can drive cars as well as boys and practice sports a lot too!
5.- Did you have previous experience in babysitting?
Yes a lot. And I would not be an au pair it if I didnt have any experience with kids. Before being an au pair I was working during the holidays in kids camp for years. And during the year a mom asked me to take care of their kids a lot. Bringing them back to school, help for homework, sometimes being there at night.... I became a big brother for a 10 yrs old boy and a 8 yrs old girl. It was like being an au pair before going as an au pair.
6.- What was your first impression of your new family? How did you get used to the new role of an au pair?
I was impressed and nervous to meet them. The mom was so nervous too but the kids were just happy. I was like a new toy for them.
After only 2 hours I was already disappointed. The mom showed me the playroom of the kids and told me I will sleep there. So at night when my day was over, kids were "in my room", playing videogames and shooting and fighting at the same time.
Nothing was prepared for me. The mom was moving the furnitures on the day I arrived to create some space for me in the playroom. And I didnt have a bed. It was a broken couch. I had to wait like 2 months to have a air matress that you use when you go camping in tents.
I didnt feel at all like a family member. On the first weekend I woke up and I remember seeing the car of the family leaving the house. They left me alone for the day and nobody told me anything. Weeks later they started to ask me weird things like "ordering dvds in alphabetical order" or "moving the snow outside from the doors". I had to fill big bags of the leaves form the garden. And I was facing difficulties with the kids. The were so spoiled and capricious and during their crisis, I had no support from the parents. The kids were like kings and I couldnt do anything to make them remember they were kids and I was an adult. It was so frustrating.
(I am talking about my first host family. I stayed with them 4 months before they sent me to re match because at the end I kind of refused to be their domestic)
7.- What did your typical day look like? Were your duties different to typical Au Pair duties?
My day was starting at 6 am. I had to take the 10 years old to his bus stop by car. When I was coming back home, the 7 yrd old was waking up. I was eating breakfast with him and then we walked to his bus stop, 5 minutes away from the house.
After that I was free until 3 pm. It was supposed to be a nice time but that was the time of the day were I had to do weird stuffs. Like ordering the room of the 10 yrs old (how do you want him to learn how to do it if he never does it?). Cleaning the house, cleaning the garage (every wednesday). Sometimes I just didnt want to do it so I was playing basket ball outside or I was on my laptop in my room.
At 3 pm I was taking the car to pick up both kids at their bus stop. Then we had to do the homework (and fight against tv) and I was playing with them a little bit until 5/6 pm. And then I was free (but I didnt have the car to go out everytime so I was in my room most of the times).
This is thanks to my discussions with my au pair friends that I realized I was the only one who had to clean the garage, the garden, and do weird stuffs.
8.- It doesn’t happen often to see a man looking after children. What was the people’s reaction to male Au Pair?
"Really??? It's not a girl job?"
But those reactions were coming from men mostly. When I was telling them we had like 1 au pair boy for 20 au pair girls they were listening to me.
9.- What are advantages to choosing a male Au Pair?
I don't think we can have an answer to this questions. Every man is different from another and host families shouldnt refuse boys and pick only girls. Some men are as sweet as girls. And some girls are rude and don't like kids... We should only focus on the personnality of the au pair and not on a boy/girl thing.
10.- How did you benefit from being Au Pair?
Yes, the good part about this experience is that even if times are bad (and they will be, even in a good host family) you can get stronger after this. I am able to speak english fluently now and I have friends in all over the world. I feel more confident. This experience helped me to grow faster than if I spent the same time at home doing regular things. It's a big experience.
11.- What aspects of being an Au Pair did you find the most difficult?
To me, the hardest was to be not supported by the parents. Because if you don't have their support, then you are simply alone. My agency was listening to me when I was talking to them about my problems. But they didnt do anything. I knew I had to be patient and wait for the end of the week to have a few hours of freedom and pleasure. It was crazy hard sometimes I wanted to run in the street and never go back to my host family.
The USA is a country were kids education is very special. I realize it when I watch american movies now. Kids are almost never punished and get almost everything they want. I didnt find any pleasure taking care of kids in such a not responsible education. Most of the au pairs I was talking with were telling me the education was more strict in their country too. You just can't raise kids like kings without limits and wait for them to be adults by their own. You need to teach them.
12.- Could you give us a piece of advice: for boys looking for Au Pair job and for families considering hiring male Au Pair?
My biggest advice would be to communicate. Things started to get bad when communication was broken. And I am not only talking for me but also for my friends who had problems too with their host families.
For boys who leave as au pair, try to have the most experience with kids you can before your departure. Otherwise you could easily get lost on your first days.
For host families, it's not because you take a boy that he wants to clean your garage. He probably like taking care of kids too!
Both parts should remember au pair is a job focused on kids and only on kids.
Good luck :-)